no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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