the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
