There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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