Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
