whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
