So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
