dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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