I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
