Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
