Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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