it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
is it fun? or sober?
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