I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
