i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
