Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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