I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
