whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
