He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
