I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
