her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
