I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
