just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Be still, my beating vagina.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
