I can tuck mytits in my pants
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The best revenge is premature balding
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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