I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
