I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sponge bath it is.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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