I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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