That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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