He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
