so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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