420 ftw
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
