how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I need water and some morals
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
