So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
where are my eyebrows?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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