I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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