The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize