Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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