just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
