I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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