Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
