Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
