I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
