I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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