You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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