Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
try to milk me bitch
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