Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
