He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
