I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize