I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize