Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
