Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i out mim tonsoeep
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