Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
