We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
