How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So vagazzling was a success
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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