i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
