If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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