we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
