PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
