Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize