and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
