So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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