he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
