You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
