Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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