If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
