I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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