btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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