Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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