Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You ruined the universe
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
