Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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