i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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