I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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