why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
