I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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